Azuka was tired of living from paycheck to paycheck and trapped in his own miserable life. He grew tired of the friends he had and the company he kept because none of them were better than he was. They all looked up to Azuka for one thing or the other. Although Azuka knew he was a nobody in the outer society and can’t boast of any significant possession of his own, he kept it all to himself and celebrated his ephemeral moment of mediocrity. As days goes by, he began to search for ways to enhance himself and decided to sought out new friends. He targeted big events, conventions and conferences to connect with people who had made something of themselves. He completely replaced the pack of people in his network and decided to make a new list of friends. The list was simply divided into two columns: One for those who would improve his life and the other for those who would drag him down. He spent more time as possible with folks who could improve his life, and keep away from his old friends as much as possible. It wasn't up to 2 years Azuka’s life became a success story.

In case you don’t know yet, “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with”. Frankly, you need to modify your friends’ list in order to move forward in life. You need to surround yourself with people who would inspire you to live better. What makes the most successful amongst us today is nothing other than the company they keep. If you make friends with healthy people, you will in turn become healthy. Keep company with wise people, you shall become wise thyself. Associate with losers, you will be dragged down along with them. It is as simple as it works.

Brenton Weyi in his inspiring article, “Why Successful People Leave Their Loser Friends Behind", shares these three powerful insights on the kind of folks to stay around with.

If you want to be truly successful, you must have these 3 essential people in your life at all times:

• A person who is older and more successful than you to learn from

What this person does is simple: he or she gives you counsel and positions you for success. This can be a mentor or role model...someone you look up to. No matter where you want to be, someone else have got the experience you need to get there or had been there and knows all about the game. To avoid wasting resources and time in getting results, it is much wiser to learn how to tie the rope from the masters. This could be an older or perhaps a younger lad with the experience. It saves time and truncates unwarranted mistakes in my past lingo. You deceive yourself if you claim there is nobody to look up to in your chosen hustle. Arguably, success is the function of humility. The ability to humble ourselves and learn from those that are ahead of us. We must learn from people to grow.

• A person who is equal to you to exchange ideas with

Look out for folks that challenge your intelligence and make you feel as if you still have a lot to learn. Of course everyone does. But go for peers whose passion is as same as yours, to provide an exchange of inspiration and ideas. You may never figure it all out alone. At some point you may need some helping hands to sharpen that vision of yours. Don’t engage anybody. Find those that you share the same goals with, people who seem to go the same direction with you. However, be careful not to engage people who think they know you too much and want to tell you everything they have not achieved. Look out for people with through life’s story, those whose storyline you can tap great wisdom and inspiration from. Remember, do not engage all your friends, especially those who love you and know you too well, they might do the opposite of what you need: weaken your confidence. Find fellow millennials who are connected, open to change and very passionate about your area of interest, connect them  and boast each other’s enthusiasm in order to succeed together.

• A person below you to coach and keep you energized

This is the part most successful businesspeople miss out. The success of generational leadership is the ability to pass on the baton. The ability to incubate in another, the spirit in you. Being an inspirational leader is not loving your followers (every leader does that) and neither is it to devote your entirety for them. It is far beyond that. Seek amongst your followers new kings of the game. Look out for them. Embrace them. Humble them with your true life’s story; as some leaders avoid saying it all in the public for plausible reasons. Make them believe they can be greater than you. Give them chance to exhibit their naivety in accordance to your rules. Never you laugh at them or reach your decibel level when correcting them. Correct them in love as the Bible teaches us. Learn from them. Teach them true success from inside out. Lead them and empower them to succeed.

The quality of every great and successful leader is in the humility to challenge themselves with people that will refine their talents. Success is usually the function of the network of driven peers who provide both inspiration and healthy motivation. Your life reflects the shadow of people in your circle.

Upgrade your mindset today and modify your close associates. Draft a make and break list of people you need in your life and those you don’t need. Always challenge yourself with exceptional people that will lift you higher. Surround yourself with down-to-earth folks who will inspire your work in progress and continue to turn on your audacity. Find young lads to train and bring up in thy ways. Never join an easy crowd of losers that will drag you down. Go where things happen, where stakes and demands to achieve are too high. Make it happen!

Be amazing!

Winston Churchill spent most of his life in polities. His career encompassed numerous failures and disappointments. His father, Sir Randolph Churchill, never believed his son would make such much of himself, despite his continual effort to do so. Winston lost office and switched political parties more than once. He repeatedly teetered on the brink of bankruptcy. Yet on May 10, 1940, he finally became Prime Minister of Britain.

Harry Truman’s early life was, like Churchill’s, filled with disappointment. He suffered bankruptcy. Being a plainspoken, ordinary man, he was often overlooked. He was usually an underdog in elections in which he ran. He was the third Vice President to serve under Franklin Roosevelt. His presidency, beginning when he was 61, was much like Churchill’s role as prime minister, largely unexpected. In each case, the men served with distinction and changed the course of history.

I have come to discover the five unique qualities that may help you become better at what you do.

Patience

Recently, my girlfriend began to make jokes about my fidgeting weakness. It was only of recent I realized it was a weakness. For some of my life-brothers and sisters out there life may seem too slow for, I empathize with your quest. I’m not a slow lad either. The world just won't understand our rush. I just cannot help it myself. I am too impatient. One of the most difficult tasks ever is to discern if God is using our current position to open doors to new opportunities or whether our present position is orchestrated by the devil. Most often, the answer is, “I don’t know”, which suggests the need for more patience. Most people I talk with express dissatisfaction with where they are or facing job transition that are raising vexing concerns. Of course, I don’t have answers for them, just more vexing questions. But I know that God has you in that seemingly uncomfortable state for a reason. Don’t ever underestimate the mind blowing power of patience, especially when things seem not to work out as we had hoped. God’s plan often requires patience and character, but if we are willing to remain faithful and unmovable in our state of “alert-expectancy” we are never left shortchanged. (Rom. 5:3-5 – Message Bible). You need the awesomeness of patience to come up with a brilliant plan – make plans while you wait on the Lord.

Courage

Don’t ever think of giving up on what you have started. It could be your vision, family or talent. Of recent, I came to understand that some parents unconsciously grade the measure of achievement their kids will have when they grow up on the basis of what they see them do when they were little. As a result, for those that were low-ranked, there is a low level of expectancy for such a child. Notice, the reaction or response of your parents when you share with them the “big-picture” of your dream determines the measure to which you are ranked by them. Whether they believe you can do big or small things. Perhaps they believe you will give up half way. Not giving you all the support you need is their unrelated way of saying they don’t trust you with big things. But who wins without ever taking risks? Nobody! We need to find courage to support those we claim to love.

Confidence

Have you ever felt the rush of confidence drizzling through your veins? For those of us who may have experienced such state of hype and swagger, please stay focused and be who you were born to be. It was said that in an earlier age, military might and physical strength were often as important as your vision for the future and your ability to delegate. It was a prerequisite for leadership, especially in times of warfare. People of size and muscles automatically gained the loyalty of followers. People who were not tall or particularly muscular were at a distinct disadvantage. Over the years we have seen people like the relatively diminutive Napoleon Bonaparte, standing at five feet six inches driven as much by confidence as he was by his ambition to rule the world. Go for whatever you think that can enhance your confidence. Find the right look for yourself. Gym and nurture the right physique, if required. Dress with class and do whatever necessary to activate your confidence. You need to be confident with your vision. It starts with being confident in thyself. One cannot break the ice of inferiority if he does not boldly step out in faith to win. The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. The thin line between failure and success is simply the blurry line of confidence – belief in yourself and your abilities. The world is waiting for us to break out of our inferior zone and come to the bright side of life.

Self-Control

Field Marshall Lord Allenby was a brilliant World War One commander who led in the overthrow of the Ottoman Empire’s stranglehold over the Middle East, liberating both Jerusalem and Damascus. Allenby appeared fearless and radiated confidence. He could be relentless in attack. His biographer noted that Allenby was never recognized as a great leader, nor was he as popular with his men as one might have supposed, in light of his success. This was due in part because Allenby lacked a measure of self-control, a little humanity, the power to communicate enthusiasm and to inspire disciples. According to Wavell Archibald in his book Allenby in which he concludes that Allenby’s sudden explosions of temper, his occasional almost childish petulance, did his reputation the more harm since he never troubled to correct the impression they created. For starters, people can be extremely frustrating! Their foolish actions can harm your organization and cause you numerous problems. But often your greatness as a leader is not measured by the decibel level you reach as you chew out your colleagues, but by the self-control and maturity you demonstrate as you seek a solution. Remember that God is fully aware of our human frailties. He knows too well the grief and headache some of the foolish choices we make will cost us. Yet He relates to us graciously. He is slow to anger, in the same manner He wants us to. Seek to change others rather than to berate those around you.  

Compassion

We are “BAD” – fantastically bad! We do not care to respect or consider others first before thinking of ourselves. As leaders, we disrespectfully shout on our employees or junior colleagues with disgust simply because of a little wrong they did. Who is even perfect? You? We don’t care whether the man next door is on the verge of losing his sanity because we chose not to listen. We don't care whether our pastor can pay his children's school fees with the little stipend from the church. We don't care whether the way we portray ourselves or dress in public influences others to sin. One word defines us all: “Selfish”. We are self-seeking. We want to head-on and do whatever we feel like simply because it feels good to us alone. Think…when last did you reach out to some of your facebook friends and ask how they were doing? Think…when last did you celebrate God’s grace and mercy over your life? However, nobody dislikes understanding the suffering of others and wanting to do something about it. Often you realize that above 90% of people do not want to help others because of a familiar experience. As a result, they reciprocate such subliminal action by redirecting their revenge towards innocent people that are within their compass. Need I remind you, compassion is not as much what we do as it is who we are out of love; a state where God’s Word and our deeds are in sync. Turn your rage into positive. Do to people what you want them to do to you. Compassion should not be required but given. Show compassion!

I read the story of Jesus and how he could teach people continuously for days without his audience worrying about food. Fascinating, isn’t it? The multitudes were always astonished at his teaching, simply because of one thing: “he taught them with authority” and not like the typical religious leaders of his days (Mk 1:22).

One thing I learnt from this passage is how knowing your subject could boast you communication skills. Rarely do you see anybody preach, teach or speak authoritatively on a subject they know nothing about. Two things to learn from Jesus from his speaking skills: 1. He knew his subject. 2. He knew how to engage his audience.

Knowing your subject and strategically engaging your audience are two different things. You can know your subject quite alright but may shamelessly give a whole day of boring lecture without people having a clue of what you are “tttrrryyyiiinnnggg” to say. Conversely, you can as well have the gift of Gab and strategically know how to engage your audience without impartation. In fact the latter is worst.

So then, how can we engage people?

I learnt this from Jesus: He chose to be different.

The bible tells us that he was not like the scribes – the religious leaders of his time. It was a typical thing for a student or a follower to want to speak or talk like his leader. We see that today in churches, especially in Africa. What is that?

To engage people effectively you must be yourself. Speak the way you were born to speak, and know your subject matter by experience, and not just by mere study. People need to see that what they hear you speak or talk about is the truth about your own life.

Nobody wants to listen to you because you feel you have a solution to their problems, but because they feel your experience is the solution to their problem. That is, you have an experience that connects to their present situation.

Cultivate a shared-learning attitude in your communication with people and not an “I am better than you” attitude we see all around us.

Let’s speak, inspire and impact from the purview of experience.

Share knowledge. Lead. Achieve!  

No joke, you don’t necessarily have to offend someone before they find you offensive. It starts with the unimagined of things…

Today, I want to breezily talk about How to Win Your Critics and share some little experiential knowledge that might help.

Some years back I led a group of vibrant seminarians as the president and during my little time with them I learnt so many things from the lonely seat of leadership. First, no matter how hard you try to selflessly sacrifice and dedicate your life to a group of people, there will always be some, if not many who will never understand your good intentions. Secondly, you don’t have to be a people pleaser to be a good leader. Thirdly, listen to your followers but listen more to your instincts because your followers may deny you if peradventure their strategy flops but your instinct will never leave you nor forsake you. In there lies your decision.

I should have started by saying that no leader ever want to mislead their followers. Every leader comes to produce remarkable results.  

If you are a leader or an aspiring leader, there are five kinds of people that are going to give you trouble eventually:

1. Those who hate you without a just cause.
2. Those who are envious of your accomplishment and just will badmouth you
3. The timid and the cowards: the never-do-wells who believe your assignment is impossible
4. Those who pay you with evil for the good you have done them
5. Those who believe they should be in the position you are because they think they are more qualified then you are.

So what do you do? The bible tells us that we must “Silent the ignorant criticism of wicked men by continuing to do good,” (2 Tim. 3:14) because there must be something they are reacting to. Continue to live in faith. The enemy wants you to give up but never let him win.

Psalm 35: 11, 13 tells us of our response to those who pay us with evil for the good we have done them. Although fierce witnesses rise up against you to reward your hard work with evil, asking you things you don’t know, humble them with your silence and prayer.

What about those who hate you for no just cause? The bible says love your enemies, do good to those who dump you (Matt. 5: 33). Let them associate together, let them gather but do not be troubled (Isaiah 8: 9-10).

My word for every leader out there reading this is: In times of loneliness, difficulty and criticism please choose not to faint, but rather be exceptional because it is the right thing to do and not because you are afraid of criticism. Do the work you are called to do in fairness to all. Go ahead doing good because it is only for a matter of time, what they say and what they do against you will come against them and be your testimony.  Focus on the assignment. Don’t drop the ball.

Joseph was thrown into prison yet he continued interpreting dreams for people. Jesus was criticized and yet he went about doing good and even was crucified for it. The end is the beginning of your happiness because your unrecognized hard work will eventually count in just a matter of time.

The future of the blameless is peace because it's from the Lord. He is their strength in time of trouble. And the Lord shall help them and deliver them; He shall deliver them from the wicked, and save them, because they trust in Him. (Psalm 37: 37-40).   

According to Seale, country after country, Arab protesters have voiced the same demands. They want to end random arrests; they want to speak and be heard; to participate in politics; to choose their own representatives. They want a better life for themselves and their children, the end of corruption, and the gross privileges of narrow elites. And they forget that, in the free world none of these are even free. Most of these are surreal. In any case, here is a thought I think might help: we miss to know that “Those who offend us are generally punished for the offence they give; but we so frequently miss the satisfaction of knowing that we are avenged”[6] says Anthony Trollope.

So far, the scenarios of a bloodcurdling revolution which genuine intentions aims at freedom, social justice, economic opportunity, dignity and democratic governance but barely reaches these targets at a post-revolutionary scene, as the system suffers from gimping economic and social frustrations, worst than they were before revolutionary demonstrations.

Although the frustrations of revolutionaries are understandable, with our justice, democracy and our common humanity the reasons of these violations, in any case, a comparism of a post-revolutionary situation with the former leaves the pro-revolutionist reader with the choice to make change in the most rarely spoken of in our pursuit for sustainable democracy. This change is possible.

In a similar case, Egypt has experience countless numbers of incidents and uproar after the Mubarak’s oust. Militia groups seem not to give up their rage and submit to the new regime. Militias, if they can, as some concerned have voiced, have to break out of the gun-firing and knife-slaughtering disposition and stereotypes, and help the new government rebuild organizations that might continually improve quality and reduce costs in order to prosper in the turbulent global marketplace.